2 Door Delta 88 - Attitude Adjustment Vehicle

1982 Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight Royale Brougham Description

Oldsmobile For Sale Attitude Adjustment Vehicle

Too loud.Too Old.Too Fat.Too rough.

I thought my wife was talking about me.

But no, it was this Oldsmobile.

I bought it two years ago from guy, who bought it from a guy, who bought it from a guy, well you get the idea.

I was attracted to it for all the right reasons.

Fuel Economy- Safety-Reliability- and it can tow my Boat!

It has a fuel efficient 307 motor with a full dual

exhaust that sounds like a 455.

She rumbles with a whiskey voice of lady who knows

her way around the track, but is too dignified to go there

at least not all the time. Hence the complaint she was “too loud”.

She is fast enough to get you in trouble but most people

will think it was some other guy when you rattle the windows.

Kind of a Stealthly fun.

With the 4 speed automatic TH200 transmission

25 MPG on the road is commonplace efficiency.

The technology is in that sweet spot where

annual emission tests are not needed and mortals

can understand how to tune it and repair it.

When a mechanic sees it they do not shout out

BUY A NEW CAR. They know they can work on this.

Not that it needs repair since the regular gas

4 Barrel Rochester Quadrajet carb harkens back to

a simple time where you just pushed hard down to

go fast and let the air flow do the rest. No $ 20, 120 PSI fuel

injection pumps here, just an honest to go, 7 PSI

Delco Mechanical pump gets you down the road just fine

thank you very much!

So even though it is more reliable and less expensive to

ow, at 35 years, she was deemed “too old” by my life partner.

That is what people call their wife these days. Really.

Susan Sarandon is pretty old too but I'm not kicking her out of my tepee on a cold night.

This car was purchased to tow a small boat and it came with this nice

Class 3 hitch rated for 3500 pounds towing. And tow it does. I had no trouble

towing my 700 pound 14 foot boat. The rims are 15 inch rims. Remember those ? Back when tires were easy to buy. You either had 14 inch or 15 inch. And the Ralley Hub caps make it look like the Chevy classics from Corvettes and Monte Carlos. It also has oversize tires that are three years old and a heavy duty rear sway bar. And the suspension got upgraded to heavy duty springs and air shocks, hence the complaints it was “Too Rough”. Sorry lady – but it works for towing!

I do not think this car is too fat though. It weighs about 3800 pounds and

my 2014 Ford Escape weighs 4200 pounds on a truck scale. Look at a

Ford Escape then look at this Oldsmobile. Which do you want to drive to

a cruise night ? Who wins in an argument with a delivery van ? See those

metal bumpers? If you need extra room when parking in the city – simple

you MAKE THE ROOM! Gentle, just move those other cars into position like

checkers on a checker board. Don't worry. If you are gentle they will not

show any harm and you know that metal / chrome bumper does not care about Hyundai's anyway.

Als, what does Hyundai mean? What is a Camry? Is it a bird ? We know what a

Delta 88 is, it is a car named after an airplane The Convair F106 Delta Dart! The symbol on the car is a ROCKET. YES! ROCKETS!

They symbol on a Hyundai is a crooked letter H that was drawn by a drunk

or melted in the sun.

This car is car for a man. A man who does not care if he has room

for three car seats and a big picnic lay out to take grandchildren

to the park. I got a better idea, you let some one else take the kids to

the park and you meet them there. If the kids barf on the way home in someone else

mini van, at least you don't have it in your car.

Is it hard to park in the city ? I wouldn't know. Stay out of the city.

It has power steering, the kind that you use one finger to steer

while the other taps out your favorite tune from the cassette tape

playing on the new rear speakers. Yes . There was a time when cars

had less than 10 speakers and SOMEHOW WE SURVIVED!

The Air Conditioning works GREAT. You flip a lever and it goes. No

computer, no digital readout. If you are cold you move the lever toward

heat. If you are hot you move it toward COLD. Got it? No computer

system that delays your fan until it thinks the time is “right”.

Car was inspected a few months ago. Passed of course.

The body looks like a mature lady too. It has some marks

but it has a good coat of paint. And it is shiny. The top is the GM Silver for that year and the sides are the GM Dark Redwood Metallic. It used to have a vinyl top

but some one took it off so I painted it with the nice silver. I kept what

trim the guy left me.

The car has the red interior.

The Driver seat needs a decent tailor, but the passenger seat is good.

Back seat is like new. But nobody sits in the back since you have to be

a Stretch Armstrong doll to get in there. You remember Stretch Armstrong

don' t you ? If you do then you remember these cars have NO CUP HOLDERS.

Do you want a cubby for your cell phone? Ya use the ASH TRAY! (it is clean )

What is the safety rating of these cars? Who knows ? When was the last time

you saw some one dead along the road in a Oldsmobile Delta 88 ? Yeah, I'm

thinking like NEVER.

SUVs? Wel, too often really.

Power Brake, Power Windows, Power Seats, Power Steering. Of course you are still needed to turn the HEADLIGHTS ON AND OFF. Sorry! But there is a chime if you leave them on when you get out of the car.

You also need to move the turn signal up and down with your left hand.

Boo Hoo! Cry babies. Cruise control is there but does not have happiness.

On the other hand you still got a right foo, right? No complaining!

There is no email or texting or speaker phones in this car. You just drive it.

This is a car for a man who is willing to drive a car. Not a guy who calls for an Uber. What the hell is an Uber anyway. Who comes up with these names ? Why do we allow this in our country ?

Of course if you are a woman who wants a solid car and you can't stand not knowing what is happening with some gadget that won't start or stop in a modern car, maybe this car is for you too. If you know where you are going before you leave the house,then you do not need a “Navigation System”. This car is for you. We had a navigation system when we drove these cars in 1982. It was called

a MAP!

We did not have CUP HOLDERS and shelves in our cars to put food on while we drove. Maybe that is why we did not weigh 300 pounds in 1982 either. How did we ever live without BOTTLED WATER in the car ?

• Of course as a woman you need to consider do you know any men who can handle it if your car could beat up their car in a fair fight ? Also who says this car fights fair ?

Anyway this car could be enjoyed by a woma, as long as she is the kind who avoids men that wear skinny cobalt blue suits and tan colored lace up Italian shoes. With a plaid shirt. You know those guys.

Stay away from those guys. They are the kind who run to the fire exit before all the ladies when some kid pulls an alarm to avoid turning in his homework.